Make your own free website on

3.9 – Transit


**This episode is in memory of all the people who lost their lives or loved ones on the 9-11-2001 terrorist attack.  I especially rewrote it, so it is set in Washington D.C.**

*More Easter Egg Alerts! ( On the subway, Molly hears one of her jingles for "Econo-Cleaner," a hardware floor cleaning machine.  "...She sells machines to wax the kitchen floor..."; The 'Elderly Man' is played by George Wendt, "Norm" on the TV sitcom "Cheers."  In the crowd at Molly's performance is Ted Danson, "Sam" from "Cheers."  She also sings the "Cheers" theme song ( at her performance, in honor of these two men being guest stars in the episode.

“Where Everybody Knows Your Name”
Music and lyrics by Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo*



<the American Red Cross helping people at the Oklahoma City bombing>

Fi: People who like to confort other people, usually have it good at heart.  But what if they don't?

<drawings of Dr. Kevorkian>

Dr. Kevorkian may have had some good at heart, but he showed it in a not-so-good way.  He killed sick people, with no permission or right.  He just killed them.  He said "because I wanted to put them out of their misery."  But what was he really trying to get across?  Was he really a good person, with some issues?  If so, how come no one noticed them before?  And what happens if someone else gets the same idea?


          "Come on!" Molly yells to Fi and Jack.  They run down the busy streets of Washington D.C. on a dark and dreary day.  "We just had to have the only hotel room with a broken alarm clock!" Fi says, running right in front of Jack.  "Yeah, well, I still want to know why the Bell's didn't wake us up," Jack says.  "Let's go guys!  I have to be there in half an hour!" Molly yells.  The three cut and weave in and out of people.  A street sign turns to red, "No Walking."  They run right before the cars start going.  Molly waves off all the angry honks they get from the cars, and they keep running.  "Taxi!" Molly yells, but they all pass her by.  They run over to a bus stop, but Jack says, "A bus will take too long!"  "You're right!" Molly says, and keeps running.  "There!" Molly yells, seeing a sign for 'Subway.'  They run down the steps.

          "Phew," Jack says, sitting down on the bench with Molly and Fi, waiting for the next train.  "I think that was a record," Fi says.  "Yeah," Molly says, "I hope we didn't break any laws," she smiles.  "Hey, you hear that?" Fi asks, feeling the rumble.  "Let's go!" Jack says.  "I'm glad I saw this.  Walking would have taken so much longer," Molly says.  It pulls up and stops, as they go to get on.  Jack and Molly get on, but Fi tries to get on the same time as an larger, older man.  "Sorry, after you," the man says in a surprisingly warm and comforting voice.  "Thanks," Fi says, and gets on.  The car starts to move, and everyone sits down or grabs on.

          "I wonder why the Bells didn't get us up!" Molly wonders aloud.  "I know...maybe it was Ned.  He's been acting weird going through withdrawal without the bus," Fi jokes, and they laugh.  "What happened to it mom?" Jack asks.  "It broke down, so Ned had it towed to a garage on the outskirts of town.  We're supposed to pick it up after the gig," Molly says.  "Econo-Cleaner, cleans right up!  Messes and dirt, they will stop!..."  "Hey, that's Molly Phillips," someone says, listening to the jingle on the radio.  Molly hides her head.  "Hey, there's Molly Phillips!" the same guy says, and everyone runs over to her.  A big commotion starts, as Molly signs autographs, and fans try to talk to her.  Suddenly, the subway car jerks to a halt.  As the lights flicker for a second, they come back on, but the train has stopped.  "Oh no!" Molly says.  "What is it Molly?" a fan asks.  "I'm supposed to be at a gig in 20 minutes!" Molly tells.  "Here, there must be a way to open the doors," a man says, and walks over to them, looking for a button, but there is none.  He tries prying it open, but to no avail.  "Sorry," he says.  Fi turns and sees the man she got on with, just sitting, watching the crowd.  She smiles at him, and he smiles back, as Molly frantically tries to open all the doors.

          Ten minutes later, people start to panic.  "What going to happen?  Why aren't we moving?" they start saying, and a small uproar becomes noticable.  Fi looks up and sees that the old man is touching people's hands, and instantly, they seem almost asleep.  She gets up, and walks over to him.  "Hi," she says.  "Hello," he says, touching Fi's hands.  She gets an eerie feeling, and jerks them away.  He just smiles and walks on.  She looks after him, and just sits down, shaking her head.  "Who is that?" Jack asks.  "I don't know," Fi says.  "Ohhh!" Molly moans, "I'm going to miss my own concert!"  "Here, use my cell phone and call for help!" someone says.  "Thanks," Molly says, and dials Irene.  "Hello?  Irene?  Yeah, this is Molly!" Molly says.

          At the Chesapeake & Ohio Canal National Historical Park, Irene is standing on a huge stage that was built just for Molly's concert.  "Yeah, Moll, where are you?  Where?  How?  You need help?  OK, you know you go on in 5 minutes," Irene says, then hears Molly yell, and Irene moves the phone away from her ear.  "Sorry.  OK, I'll call.  Where are you?"

          "Where are we?" Molly asks.  "According to this chart, we're between 5th and Pennsylvania Avenue," someone says.  "Between 5th and Pennsylvania," Molly says.

          "OK, I'll get help.  Yeah, I'll hurry," Irene says, and ends the call, then dials the subway office's number.  Ned walks over, "What's wrong honey?" he asks.  "Molly's stuck in a subway," Irene says.  Ned turns and sees the huge crowd gathered in front of the stage.  "Well, she better get here!" Ned says.

          "What are we going to do?" Molly asks.  "I don't know," Jack says.  Then the man touches Molly.  She looks up at him, startled.  Then he touches Jack.  FLASH!  He has his vision.  He pans around the castle, then the red glow sucks him in.  He walks down the "O'Shannon" hallway, without the pictures.  He opens the two door, and sees the bright light.  It subsides with the two torches moving out of the doorway.  He walks into the huge, royal room, and walks onto the carpet.  He walks down, with different people lined up on both sides of the carpet.  Suddenly, one person bends down to Jack.  "Carey!..." he says, in Jack's voice, but a little deeper.  "I am not Carey...but I say, beware, Jack, beware," the Carey-look alike says, and goes back up.  When he does, Jack can no longer see his face.  Jack walks on, and another head comes down to him, taps him on the shoulder, and Jack jumps.  "Jack, beware!" a Molly-look alike says.  "Mom?" he asks.  "No, but watch out!" she says, goes back up, and also disappears.  He walks on, and yet another taps him on the shoulder.  He turns and sees the old man coming down.  He blinks, and suddenly is back on the subway train.  He looks at sees the man looking at him, touching his hands.  "I see you are special too," he says.  "What?" Jack says, pulling his hands away from the old man's.  "Oh, yes.  You don't know?  Just remember, you are special," he says, and walks on.  Jack thinks for a moment, then just shakes his head.

          Fi just walks the man keeping going around and around the train, retouching people's hands, each time getting calmer and calmer.  She also notices that each time he goes around, he avoids the Phillips.  The next time he comes around, Fi stands in front of him.  "Hello," he says, going to touch her hands, but she jerks them away.  Instead, she takes him to an empty part of the train.  "Where's she going?" Jack asks.  "Don't worry about it," Molly says, obviously stressed.  "OK...I'm going to ask you straight out.  What are you?  And what are you doing?" Fi says.  He just smiles.  "Ah, so you've noticed," he says.  "Yes, what are you??" she asks again.  His eyes roll, not in a rude manner, but in a way that it looks like he's thinking, "I think...I'm special."  "What?  What does that mean?" Fi asks.  "OK...I can see you are special, in your own way, so I will tell you my story.  When I was 5 years old, <THIS IS ALSO INTERTWINED WITH FOOTAGE FROM HIS STORY>I came across a cave...a dark, strange cave.  I wandered in, and came across a troll, but a good troll," he says.  Fi thinks of the troll she encountered in Helvig.  "He granted me a wish.  I thought of my parents, always fighting and feeling hate.  So I wished for the gift of making people feel better," he finishes.  "So...that's it?  You're just giving people a feeling?" Fi asks.  "Yes, and as you can see, it works," he says.  "!" Fi says.  "What is wrong?" he asks.  "It's just a aren't making it''s...just...wrong!" Fi says.  "What?" the man asks, startled.  It is the first time he has stopped smiling since Fi has seen him.  "Wrong?  How can you say that?  Look at everyone...calm and peaceful," he says.  "'s not actually making them better.  And that's what counts...MAKING them better, not just making them FEEL better," Fi says.  He stares at Fi for what seems like forever.  "I see that you have had good judgement in the past...and that you have had an interesting, unrestful past yourself.  I see you learn from some experience," he says.  " could you know that?" Fi asks.  "My gift...I can feel others feelings in my prescence as well as distributing my feeling of good.  That way, I know if they need a cheering up or not," he says.  "So...what's your point?" Fi asks.  He waits a moment, that replies, "I don't know.  Let me think about it," and walks away.  Fi sighs.

          The crowd is yelling "Molly Phillips!  Molly Phillips!"  Irene runs onstage, and talks into the microphone.  "Um, hey everyone.  I'm Irene Bell, Molly's manager, and I'd just like to apologize for Molly's tardiness.  You see, she's stuck in a subway, and the rescue crew is taking forever, so if you..." Irene is cut off, as the crowd heads for the subway offices.  Irene smiles.

          The man comes back over to Fi, sitting all alone in the corner.  He sits down.  "I have thought it over...and see your point..." he says.  "You do?" Fi asks.  "Yes, and I also believe it," he says.  "You do?" Fi asks, more excited this time.  "Yes, I will stop my gift," he says, “Thank you,” and hugs her.  She is surprised, but hugs back.  As they hug, his gift is emitted from him, in the form of an orange figure, trying to go into Fi, but it bounces off her body, and disappears into thin air.  As the break from the hug, he says, "Thank you again."  "You're welcome.  What made you understand?" Fi says.  "Well, after thinking it over, I realized were right.  All my parents felt when they were fighting...was hate.  And all that was there...was hate.  I didn't know both existed, well, I did, but I didn't realize it...didn't take it into account.  You...I don't know, you...helped me see...the good side of this," he says.  "Well, I'm glad..adad!" Fi says, but is jerked as the subway train starts up again!  "Yes!!" Molly yells, jumping up and down wildly, hair all tossled and stress on her face.  The others on the car just stare and smile.

          "Thank you, everyone, for waiting and being so patient!" Molly says on stage, as the crowd cheers, "And thank you for putting pressure on the subway crew!"  The crowd laughs, and the band starts playing "Hidden Messages."  "...What does it mean, tell me please!  Hidden messages, so I see.  Hiding all around me, trying to fry me, hidden messages, dying to tell me, what they are, to me!"  The crowd cheers and Molly notices in the crowd the elderly man, watching her and smiling.  Molly smiles back.  Irene runs on stage and whispers something in her ear.  Molly becomes excited and says into the microphone, "OK, folks.  We have a very special guest here today, Ted Danson!" The crowd cheers as they all look for Ted Danson.  The band begins to play Molly's arrangement of "Where Everybody Knows Your Name," as the crowd goes wild and Molly keeps looking at the same people...the elderly man, Ted Danson...and Fi.


Na na na na na na na na na na


Making your way in the world today

Takes everything you've got

Taking a break from all your worries

Sure would help a lot

Wouldn't you like to get away?


All those night when you've got no lights

The check is in the mail

And your little angel

Hung the cat up by it's tail

And your third fiance didn't show


Sometimes you want to go

Where everybody knows your name

And they're always glad you came

You want to be where you can see

Our troubles are all the same

You want to be where everybody knows your name


Roll out of bed, Mr. Coffee's dead

The morning's looking bright

And your shrink ran off to Europe

And didn't even write

And your husband wants to be a girl


Be glad there's one place in the world

Where everybody knows your name

And they're always glad you came

You want to go where people know

People are all the same

You want to go where everybody knows your name.


Where everybody knows your name

And they're always glad you came

Where everybody knows your name

And they're always glad you came...