18. Leprechaun

3.18 – Leprechaun

Teaser:

Fi: Another well known Irish legend...is about leprechauns.

They're common around St. Patrick's Day...but they're depicted as jolly, little men in green suits. But actually, many people believe that leprechauns are evil, or at least mischievious. Some even have detailed descriptions of their habits. A famous one is that leprechauns come to you, and mimic whatever you do in the most annoying way. So which are they? Nice or naughty?

Fi squirms in bed. In a dream she is having, she is seeing the Will O' the Wisp again, back in the Nexus, when he was in Jack. Fi brings her laptop out, and the hangman program begins, and Bricriu tells Fi that he picked Jack's body on purpose. "You think your puny brother can protect you? Ha!" he says. "Protect me from what?" Fi asks. Suddenly, the computer blows up in her face, and Fi wakes up in a cold sweat. She whispers to herself, breathing heavily,"He...he was telling the truth!"

Early next morning, outside the Phillips' house, a short man in a green suit is sitting on the fence surrounding the house. <NOTE: WE ONLY SEE HIS BACK FOR NOW.> He stares at it for awhile, then stands up on the fence. He jumps down and walks towards the house itself. He reaches the front door, looks around, and walks right through it!

Meanwhile, Fi wakes up and walks out of her room. Molly walks out of her room, all dressed, and says to Fi, "Morning baby!" "Hi mom," Fi says groggily. "How was your sleep?" Molly asks. "Good," Fi says. "OK, well, I'm going down to start breakfast, so come down whenever, OK?" Molly asks. "Sure mom," Fi says. "OK, baby," Molly smiles and walks downstairs. Fi yawns, lifting her head up and closing her eyes. She brings her head down and closes her mouth, and when she opens her eyes, screams. In front of her is the little green man. "Baby! Are you alright!" Molly yells up. "Yeah, it's alright mom! I...just saw a little green thing," Fi yells back. "Are you sure you're alright?" Molly asks. "Yeah!" Fi yells. "OK!" Molly yells back. "Little green thing?" the man says. We see his face now, and see that it's very white, and covered in freckles. "Who...what...are you?" Fi asks. "Ah, don'tcha know?" he asks in an Irish accent. "No," Fi says. "Now how about that insult...little green thing? I find that I don't take that to a liking very much," he says. "What are you?" Fi asks. "Ah, I'm a leprechaun!" he says. Jack walks out of his room, right past Fi. "Jack! How can you walk past this?" Fi asks. Jack looks at her. He only sees her, and not the leprechaun. "He can't see me!" the leprechaun says. "Oh, never mind Jack," Fi says. "OK," Jack says, confused, and walks into the bathroom. We hear him sneeze. "He's gotta get that cold checked out," Fi mutters. "What was that?" the leprechaun asks. "Nothing," Fi says, "Now tell me this: Why can't he see you?" He laughs a laugh that sounds like a cross between Tigger and a donkey, "You're the only one that can see me, Fiona Phillips! He he!" He dashes down the stairs and disappears. Fi shakes her head and walks back into her room.

"Good breakfast, mom!" Fi says, walking out of the kitchen. "Thanks, baby!" Molly yells back. "AH-CHOO!" Jack sneezes. "Bless you," Fi says. "Thanks," Jack sniffles and walks upstairs. "Ah, that poor soul!" the leprechaun appears beside Fi. Fi, startled, says, "Where'd you come from?" "I'm a leprechaun, must I remind you? I can come and go as I please!" he says, "Now, would you like some proof?" "Yes, I would," Fi says. "Upstairs," he says, snapping his fingers. Instantly, they are upstairs. "Woah," Fi says. "And that's not all!" he says, "Watch!" Jack walks out of his room, and sneezes. The leprechaun waves his hands at Jack, mumbling an incantation of some kind. Suddenly, Jack goes almost into a sneezing-meltdown, where he sneezes continually for a few seconds, again and again! The leprechaun waves his hands again, and Jack instantly stops. He looks around, confused. "Fi...what just...happened?" he asks. "Uh...you were sneezing," Fi says. "Right," Jack says, and walks back into his room. Fi says to the leprechaun, "So...you did...what?" "I take what people do, and drive them crazy with it! Watch again!" he says, snapping his fingers, and appearing in the kitchen. "Baby, where'd you come from?" Molly asks. "Uh, I just got here," Fi says. "5...4...3...2...1...We have...Clu!" he says, right as Clu walks in. "Hey Mrs. P! Hey Fi!" he says, slamming the door shut. The leprechaun waves his hands again, as the starts slamming again and again, harder and harder each time. He waves his hands, and it stops. "What was that?" Clu asks, more confused than scared. "I...don't think I want to know," Molly says, "I thought you were coming along with Carey?" "Oh, I was. He was getting stuff out of the car." "Mornin' everyone!" he says, bringing a small toaster oven in. "Oh, you brought it back! Thank you Carey!" Molly says, taking it from him. The leprechaun waves his hands, causing Molly to drop it. "Oh, let me help!" Clu says, picking it up, but he drops it too. One by one, Clu, Carey, and Molly take turns picking up and dropping the toaster oven. Jack walks in after awhile, and the leprechaun waves his hands. Jack picks up the toaster oven with no trouble and sets it on the counter. Everyone just looks at each other, more confused than ever. "Is there...something wrong with your house, Mrs. P?" Carey asks. "I...don't...think so," Molly says, unsure. Fi just walks out, upstairs. Knowing the leprechaun will follow, she blurts out, "OK, so what do you want??" "Just the pleasure to see your family suffer," he says, sitting on the stairway banister. "But you did it to more than my family...and you haven't done it to me!" Fi says. "Ya want me to do it to you?" he asks. "No! Why are you doing this?" Fi asks. "I told ya, to get a good laugh! Ho ho!" he says. "No, there's gotta be another reason why you're here...and I'm going to find out," Fi says, walking in her room, and slamming the door. "Poor sport," he mutters.

Fi is looking through the Strangling spell book, and finds some incantations for leprechauns. "Here's one," Fi reads, "Leprechaun Truth Spell." "He he! I see you've been trying to get rid of me!" he appears, standing on her bed. "Hey! I'm going to get the truth out of you!" Fi says, and reads the spell, "I see right through you, that's no lie, If you don't tell me the truth, Our friendship...will die." The leprechaun just stands there and smiles. "Why didn't it work?" Fi asks. "Ah, could it be because you didn't apply it again?" he asks. "What?" Fi asks. "Oh, too bad, you're obviously too slow for me! Weee!" he disappears. "Apply it?" Fi asks herself, "Of course! Ask him the question again!" Fi looks at the spell again, "Friendship??" Then, right before her eyes, that word glows, and turns into "relationship." "What? No..." Fi says, touching the book, "How did that happen?" She sighs, and lies down on her bed.

That night, at dinner, Molly, Fi, Jack, Carey, and Clu are sitting in the dining room, eating. Fi looks up, and spots the leprechaun walking in. He smiles as Fi glares at him, then waves his hands. "Oh!" Clu says, dropping his water glass. Suddenly, everyone else's glasses also fall, everything landing on him. The leprechaun laughs as everyone but Fi runs over to Clu, asking, "Clu, are you alright? Are you OK?" Fi walks over to the leprechaun, pulling him in the living room. "What are you doing? Really...tell me," Fi says. "Too bad the spell changed!" he says. "You know...how did you know?" she asks. "I don't have to tell you anything," he smiles at her. "GRRR! That's it!" she says, and walks away from him. "I wouldn't do that if I were you!" he yells after her. "Do what?" she asks. "Walk away from me," he says. "Why?" Fi asks, "Why shouldn't I?" "Because if ya do, I'll bring my bad luck to YOU," he says with an evil tone. "No you won't. You're bluffing," she says, and walks away. "Fine. If you want it that way," he mutters, and walks after her. He walks back in and sees everyone eating again. Fi sees him, but ignores him. He waves his hands, and Fi's plate drops on her lap. "Baby, are you alright?" Molly asks. "Yeah, yeah," Fi says. The leprechaun waves his hands again, and Carey accidentally brings his hand down on a spoon in a bowl of mashed potatoes, the spoon deposit landing splat center on Fi's face, on her nose. "Oh, Fi, I am so sorry!" Carey says, trying not to laugh, as was everyone else. "It's alright," Fi says. Clu goes to pick the spoon off the floor when he accidentally tips his plate over on Fi's lap. "Fi...I...am really sorry," he says too. "Really, I don't mind," she says. She stands up, ready to go over to the leprechaun, but as she does, she accidentally pulls the entire tablecloth off the table as she stands up. "Fi!" Molly says, "Baby, what are you doing?" "Mom...I'm...just going to go upstairs...and do something," she says, and walks out. After a moment, Jack says, "I better go after her."

Meanwhile, the leprechaun follows Fi upstairs, "So what do you say now?" "I say this: I see right through you, that's no lie, If you don't tell me the truth, Our relationship will die!" Fi says sternly, "Now tell me! What are you and why are you here?" "Oh, bad timing! The spell changed again!" he says. "Why can't you tell me, huh?" Fi asks, "I mean, you can't be that much of a secret." "No, I'm not," he says. "Then what?" Fi asks, hoping for a real answer. "Fiona Phillips, I came here, to tell you something," he says. "What?" she asks. "I came...to tell you...nothing! He he!" he laughs, and disappears again. Fi sighs, leaning against the wall, as Jack makes it up the stairs. "Hey, Fi. You alright?" he asks. "Yeah, I'm fine," she says. "What's been wrong with you lately?" he asks. "I...I don't know, Jack. I guess...something's just been nagging me," she says. "Like what?" he asks. "Nothing," she says. "You know, Fi, I know...I've been kind of ignorant of you lately. But...I do care for you...even if it means...getting mad, you know?" he asks. "Yeah, I know," she actually smiles. "So, I was wondering...maybe we can start fresh," he says, "A clean slate." "I'd like that...but how long is it going to last?" Fi asks. "Who cares?" Jack laughs, and hugs Fi. "Let's go down and help mom clean up, OK?" Jack asks. "Yeah," Fi says, as he starts down. She takes a deep, refreshing breath, and starts to walk down, when the leprechaun appears behind her. "So...you two are gonna try to not kill each other?" he asks. "Why do you care?" she asks. "Oh, maybe because it's not you I'm here for," he says. "Then...why can no one but me see you?" she asks. "You've had visitors, recently, right? Telling you to prepare?" he asks. "How do you know that?" Fi asks, but he ignores her, "Maybe I'm here...to prepare Jack." "Jack?" Fi asks. "And maybe...my job is done," he says. "What? How?" Fi asks. "You might have noticed that after you pulled the tablecloth down, I didn't wave my hands again to stop it. Then Jack walked up...so yes, I would say me job is done," he says. "What, to patch things up between us?" Fi asks. "Oh, Fiona, there were a-many more things in that hug you just shared with him. Many more," he says, "Maybe...that hug...was an invisible shield. Like I'm invisible to everyone else." "So, will you tell me now, why you're here?" Fi asks. "I just did," he smiles, touching Fi's shoulder. All of a sudden, he starts to glow brightly, and it starts circling all around him. "Goodbye, Fiona," he says, slowly being sucked into the golden whirlwind, "And good luck!" She watches as he is sucked up, both smiling. But as the glow reaches his neck, his head morphs into a more grown-up looking Jack. Fi blinks her eyes, and the whirlwind sucks him up, disappearing. She rubs her eyes, and shakes her head. Then, she walks downstairs.

After cleaning up, everyone sits in the living room. "OK, here's my new song, OK?" She presses "Play" on the stereo and the song starts coming out through the speakers.

Will you follow me-e-e-e?

As a leader?

-Leader. Teacher!-

No, not as a teacher,

leader

of a sorts.

-Sorts, sorts!-

Now, now you've got it,

you've got it,

better than before!

-'Fore, 'fore!-

Never letting go- o-o-o

of my echo!

Don't walk across the street-e-e-et

Without taking me

-Me, see?-

No, no you do not see

Do not see

Under your skin

-Skin, skin!-

You've got it once again

Once again,

better than before!

-'Fore, 'fore!-

Still keeping close to me

My echo!

Tall, and taller

No needs!

-Needs, seeds-

Seeds

Of any kind

-Kind, kind!-

Still don't have a hang

A hang

Of this art!

-Art, art!-

Using as a dart

Echo!

Seems like you've followed m-e-e-e?

You the leader?

-Leader. leader!-

No longer a teacher,

You've moved up

Even in sports.

-Sports, sports!-

Once you have it

You have it,

It's yours, unlike before!

-'Fore, 'fore!-

Re-verberating

My echo!

-O-o-o-o-o-o-o...-

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